Being Alone: Learning To Love Yourself

by Kathy Sanborn

One of the most important things that I had to learn while walking the spiritual path was the ability to love being alone. As many of you know, the spiritual road can be a lonely one, when family members and friends don’t quite understand the changes that you need to undergo as you progress in your spiritual life. Oftentimes, too, following your spiritual guidance may lead you to get rid of the “deadwood” in your life—the people and situations that aren’t serving you in any particular way.

Several years ago, when I started my intense work on spiritual growth in my life (thanks to the termination of a particularly painful relationship), I went through a process of weeding out the circumstances that didn’t bring me happiness. People who had a negative outlook and who didn’t bring me joy were the first to go out the door. Situations that I had been putting up with for years underwent enormous changes, until I reached a point where I truly had eliminated everything from my life that didn’t serve me or make me happy.

Going through the process of “cleaning out my closet,” so to speak, resulted in a time of aloneness for me—I had no significant relationship in my life, and my state of mind was such that I had no interest in relating to people in the same old shallow way.

You may not be fond of being alone, but when you walk the spiritual path, sometimes it is necessary to be physically and emotionally on your own. This does not mean, of course, that you need to become some kind of hermit, never participating in life. It DOES mean, however, that you will need to build up enough spiritual strength to become “whole” by yourself, without having to rely on others for love or support.

Once you are able to be “complete”—not needing someone else to make you a total being—then you will find that people will gravitate towards you, sensing your inner strength and security. By loving yourself without limit, your ability to enjoy life without a significant relationship increases. Magically, the one you’ve been waiting for appears in your life at that very time when you do not NEED someone.

© Kathy Sanborn; Life Channels Staff Writer. All Rights Reserved. Life and Career Coaching. Grow Your Own Love